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The 30 Best 'Step Brothers' Quotes

Step Brothers delivers some unforgettable quotes that capture its absurd humor and zany protagonists. Directed by Adam McKay and released in 2008, the comedy stars Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly as Brennan Huff and Dale Doback (respectively), two middle-aged men who become stepbrothers when their single parents marry. The film explores the antics and growing pains that arise as these two overgrown kids struggle to bond. With its slapstick humor, memorable one-liners, and standout performances, Step Brothers has earned a cult status.

Several quotes particularly epitomize the character dynamics and overall silliness. Huff delivers the classic question, "Did we just become best friends?" following an unexpected bonding moment with Doback, thus capturing the comedic chemistry between the two. Doback retorts with, "So many activities!" after enthusiastically tearing down the wall in their shared bedroom, highlighting their childish exuberance. In another memorable scene, Huff defiantly claims, "This house is a prison! On Planet Bullsh*t!" reflecting his rebellious attitude toward his new family situation, while Doback's query, "Did you touch my drum set?" becomes an iconic moment of mock-seriousness and juvenile territoriality.

From playful insults to unexpected punchlines to surprisingly moving moments, the quotations above and in the crowd-ranked list below encapsulate the movie's quirky ambiance, nostalgia, and humor. Which lines from Step Brothers are your favorites? Vote them up!

• Columbia Pictures

No Television

Dr. Robert Doback : Alright, that's it! You guys leave me no choice! No television for a week!

Dale Doback : WHAT!?

Nancy Huff : We are so serious!

Brennan Huff : You're f*ckin' high!

Nancy Huff : This remote goes in Robert's room and it stays there...

Brennan Huff : This house is a f*cking prison!

Dale Doback : On Planet Bullsh*t!

Brennan Huff : In the galaxy of This Sucks Camel D*cks!

The Exact Same Thing

Dale Doback : Why do you have Randy Jackson’s autograph on a martial arts weapon?

Brennan Huff : Cause I bumped into him and all I had on me was this samurai sword. And you’re not gonna not get Randy Jackson’s autograph, right?

Dale Doback : I would’ve done the exact same thing.

Hillbillies

Dale Doback : You and your mom are hilbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.

Brennan Huff : You're not a doctor... you're a big, fat, curly-headed f*ck!

Touch My Drums

Dale Doback : I am warning you: if you touch my drums, I will stab you in the neck with a knife.

I Just Figure It Out

Dale Doback : I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I'm smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes, I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and... I just figure it out.

Dale Doback : Why are you so sweaty?

Brennan Huff : I was watching Cops .

Catches Me Out Of The Shower

Dale Doback : Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I'm looking good, got a luscious V of hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes, " Oh, my God, I've had the old bull, now I want the young calf," and she grabs me by the weiner.

Brennan Huff : Boats and h*es!

Dale Doback : Gotta have me my boats and h*es!

For A Second

Brennan Huff : Mom, I honestly thought I was gonna be r*ped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes. And at one point he said, "Let's get it on."

Better Not Go To Sleep

Brennan Huff : Yeah. You better not go to sleep, cause as soon as your eyes shut I'm gonna punch you square in the face.

Dale Doback : I hope you stay still when you sleep, cause I'm gonna put a rat trap between your legs.

Brennan Huff : I'm going to take a pillowcase, and fill it full of bars of soap, and beat the sh*t out of you.

Brennan Huff : Your drumset's a wh*re! I tea bagged your drumset!

Dale Doback : My drumset's a guy, so it makes you gay, you f*cker!

Shoulder Pain

Brennan Huff : Hey Derek, you know what's good for shoulder pain?

Derek : What?

Brennan Huff : If you lick my b*tthole.

Best Friends

Dale Doback : On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don't even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.

Dale Doback, Brennan Huff : Velociraptor.

Brennan Huff : Favorite non-p*rnographic magazine to m*sturbate to.

Dale Doback, Brennan Huff : Good Housekeeping .

Brennan Huff : If you were a chick, who's the one guy you'd sleep with?

Dale Doback, Brennan Huff : John Stamos.

Dale Doback : [stomps foot] What?

Brennan Huff : Did we just become best friends?

Dale Doback : Yep!

[they high five each other]

Brennan Huff : Do you wanna do karate in the garage?

Hearing Devices

Dr. Robert Doback : You jagaloons! You're failures! FAILURES!

Brennan Huff : Hey, you're embarrassing yourself, you geriatric f*ck!

Nancy Huff : Brennan.

Brennan Huff : Two things: You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother. She's a saint! And then you sit down and you write Dale and Brennan a check for $10,000.

Nancy Huff : Oh, stop it! Stop it right...

Brennan Huff : Or I'm gonna shove one of those fake hearing devices so far up your *ss...

Nancy Huff : Brennan!

Brennan Huff : ...you can hear the sound of your small intestine as it produces sh*t!

A Green Belt

Brennan Huff : I have a green belt - read it and weep.

Dale Doback : I don’t believe in belts.

Catalina Wine Mixer

Brennan Huff : It's the f*cking Catalina Wine Mixer.

Time Machine

Brennan Huff : You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.

Dale Doback : Yeah, I got 'em from the 70's, 80's and 90's. It's like m*sturbating in a time machine.

Dad, We're Men

Dale Doback : Dad, we're men. That means a few things - we like to sh*t with the door open, we talk about p*ssy, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That's what we do, and now that is all wrecked.

[brief pause]

Dr. Robert Doback : We literally have never done any of those things.

Dr. Robert Doback : When I was a kid, when I was a little boy, I always wanted to be a dinosaur. I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short, and I roamed the back yard. I chased the neighborhood cats. I growled and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me, and one day my dad said, “Bobby, you are 17. It’s time to throw childish things aside,” and I said, “OK, Pop,” but he didn’t really say that. He said, “Stop being a f*cking dinosaur and get a job."

Brennan Huff : I swear, I'm so p*ssed off at my mom. As soon as she's of age, I'm putting her in a home.

Voice of an Angel

Dale Doback : [after hearing Brennan sing] You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.

Sticks And Stones

Brennan Huff : Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!

She's Your Therapist

Nancy Doback : Brennan, Denise called and she said she can't spend New Year's Eve with you because she's not your girlfriend, she's your therapist.

International Waters

Derek : I have to sell or lease at last 80 helicopters to make my nut. And you… You mess with my nut, Brennan, Randy here is gonna eat your d*ck.

Randy : Like Kobayashi.

Derek : I’ve seen him do it.

Brennan Huff : You’ve actually seen him eating a man’s penis?

Derek : It was in international waters, so they couldn’t prosecute him. But I saw it.

Terrible Idea

Dale Doback : (after the bunk beds fell on Brennan) Dad, what a terrible idea. Why did you let us do that?

Brennan Huff : I have a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this sh*t on me?

Shooting Flaming Arrows

Brennan Huff : Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.

Dale Doback : I would follow you into the mists of Avalon if that's what you mean.

A Little Tickle

Alice : I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my v*gina. You could just live there, it's warm and it's cozy... Oh, I'd just walk around with you in there and just knowing, whenever I feel a little tickle or scratch, it's your hair on my v*gina!

Liquid Paper

Brennan Huff : Last week I put liquid paper on a bee... And it died.

Not Gonna Happen

Derek : I am the VP of the biggest executive helicopter leasing company on the western seaboard. I haven’t had a carb since 2004. Check these out. (shows abs) See these? See these boys? This is what I live with, every day. I lather this up with Kiehl's in the shower. You want to touch this sh*t?

Dale Doback : No.

Derek : You want to touch these bad boys? Sorry, not gonna happen.

• Step Brothers
• Movie Quotes

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Motivational And Inspirational Quotes

80 Best Step Brothers Quotes And One Liners From The Movie

• April 12, 2023
• Inspirational Quotes

Looking for quotes about step brothers? We have rounded up the best step brothers quotes, sayings, captions, movie dialogues, hilarious one-liners, (with images and pictures) from the classic comedy Step Brothers. The film Step Brothers written by Adam McKay and Will Farrell released in 2008 which had a lasting impact on our lives. The movie has some memorable and hilarious quotes and diaglouges  follows two immature adults (Will Farrell and John C. Reilly) who still live at home and are forced to live together when their parents get married. Initially hating each other, the pair eventually become best friends. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({}); Step Brothers Quotes Step Brothers Movie Quotes Funny Step Brothers Quotes Step Brothers Quotes “I am not the one staring at me.” “Then we’ll get around just fine.” “It’s the f***ing Catalina wine mixer.” “Snapping necks and cashing cheques.” “This cyclone in vanuatu. Is it pan or pam?” “Don’t lose your dinosaur.” — Robert Doback “I’ve been called the songbird of my generation.” “Gotta have my boats and hoes!” — Dale Doback “Shut your mouth. You’re just coming off stupid.” “Last week I put liquid paper on a bee… And it died.” “Don’t ever, ever touch my drum set. You understand?” “Did we just become best friends? “Yep!”” — Brennan Huff “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” — Dale Doback “Dane Cook, pay–per–view, 20 minutes, let’s go!” — Derek “I you wake me up… I will stab you, in the neck with a knife.” “Dad, what are you doing? It’s ‘Shark Week’!” — Dale Doback “I feel like a lightning bolt hit the tip of my pe***!” — Brennan “I traveled 500 miles to give you my seed!” — lumberjack Brennan “Boats ‘n’ hoes, boats ‘n’ hoes / I gotta have me my boats and hoes.” “Robert better not get in my face, ’cause I’ll drop that mother f***er.” “You know what gets my di** hard? Helping out my friends.” — Derek “I didn’t want Salmon! I said it four times! This wedding is horse sh**.” “I wanna make bank bro. I wanna drive a range rover. I wanna get a**.” “Your drumset is a wh***! I tea bagged your drum set!” — Brennan Huff “Your singing is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.” — Dale Doback “I want to roll you into a little ball and shove you up my v***na.” — Alice “Get out of my face, or I’m gonna roundhouse your a**.” — Brennan Huff “My mom is being eaten by a dog and there’s nothing I can do!” — Brennan “I got a belly full of white dog crap in me, and now you lay this sh** on me?!” “You’re wearing tuxedos to a job interview that requires you to clean bathrooms.” “One time I wrestled a giraffe to the ground with my bare hands.” — Dale Doback “I’m f***ing miserable. I had to get up at 10 o’clock this morning.” — Dale Doback “Listen, gang, don’t be mad at Dale for ruining the story…and possibly the evening.” “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” — Dale Doback “See that black smudge right there on the blade? Randy, Jackson, from American Idol.” “I’m Brennan.” “I’m Dale, but you have to call me Dragon.” “You have to call me Nighthawk.” “The Nina, the Pinta, the Santa Marian I’ll do you in the bottom while you’re drinking Sangria.” “This house is a f***ing prison!” “On Planet Bulls**t!” “In the galaxy of This S***s Camel D***s!” “Oprah, Barbara Walters, your wife. You gotta f*** one, marry one, kill one. Go!” — Dale Doback “Hey Derek, you know what’s always good for shoulder pain? If you lick my butthole.” — Brennan “You better not close your eyes, because as soon as you do, I’m gonna punch you square in the face!” “Today I saw my own son use a bicycle as a weapon. You yelled ‘rape’ at the top of your lungs.” — Nancy “You know what? I still hate you, but you got a pretty awesome collection of nudie mags.” — Brennan Huff “They broke! The bunk beds were such a terrible idea why did you make us do it? There;s blood everywhere!” “Sticks and stones may break my bones, but I will kick you repeatedly in the balls, Gardocki!” — Brennan Huff “We sail around the world and go port to port / Every time I come I produce a quart” — Prestige Worldwide, “Boats ‘n’ Hos” “You and your mom are hillbillies. This is a house of learned doctors.” “You’re not a doctor. You’re a big, fat, curly-headed f***!” “On the count of three, name your favorite dinosaur. Don’t even think about it. Just name it. Ready? One, two, three.” — Dale Doback “I’m not great at this Hallmark stuff, but Brennan, when I look at you now, I don’t want to kick you in the head quite as much.” — Derek “I’m not gonna call him dad. Brendan you are 39 years old, I wouldn’t expect you to call him dad. Well I’m not going to, ever! Even if there’s fire.” “Maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” — Brennan Huff “Or a feel minutes feel better but then my emotions decided to come back with a slap across my face and I sounded like I was choking on piece of biscuit from popeyes.” ““I smoked pot with Johnny Hopkins.” “You don’t know anyone named Johnny Hopkins.” “It was Johnny Hopkins and Sloan Kettering. And they were blazing that sh** up every day..”” “I work at a college as a janitor even though I feel like I’m smarter than most of the people who go there. Sometimes, I see an equation written on a blackboard like half an equation and… I just figure it out.” — Dale Doback “Dad, we’re men. That means a few things – we like to sh** with the door open, we talk about pu***, we go on riverboat gambling trips, and we make our own beef jerky. That’s what we do, and now that is all wrecked.” — Dale Doback. “Flat. It’s so flat, I can’t even…I don’t even know. You don’t even look good while you’re singing. The worst thing I’ve ever heard. This is twelve hundred dollars a week for voice lessons, and this is what I get? Okay, I’m gonna save it with the solo…” “Suppose Nancy sees me coming out of the shower and decides to come on to me. I’m looking good, got a luscious hair going through my chest pubes down to my ball fro. She takes one look at me and goes “Oh my God, I’ve had the old bull now I want the young calf” and she grabs me by the weiner.” “Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” “I would follow you into the mists of Avalon, if that’s what you mean.” “You’re embarrassing yourself, you geriatric f***! Two things: You keep your liver-spotted hands off my beautiful mother. She’s a saint! And then you sit down and you write Dale and Brennan a check for $10,000. Or I’m gonna shove one of those fake hearing devices so far up your a**, you can hear the sound of your small intestine as it produces s**t!” “When I was a kid…I wanted to be a Tyrannosaurus Rex more than anything in the world. I made my arms short and I roamed the backyard, I chased the neighborhood cats, I growled and I roared. Everybody knew me and was afraid of me. And one day, my dad said, ‘Bobby, you’re 17. It’s time to throw childish things aside,’ and I said, ‘Okay, Pop.’ But he didn’t really say that, he said, ‘Stop being a f***ing dinosaur and get a job.’”  Best Step Brothers Movie Quotes “So many activities!”– Brennan (Step Brothers Movie) “Do you wanna go do karate in the garage?” — Brennan (Step Brothers Movie) “What poem is that from? Is that James Joyce?” — Brennan (Step Brothers Movie) “Why are you so sweaty?” — Dale “I was watching cops.” — Brennan (Step Brothers Movie) “That’s so funny the last time I heard that I laughed so hard I fell off my dinosaur.”— Dale (Step Brothers Movie) “This is going to sound weird, but for a second, I think you took on the shape of a unicorn.”— Dale (Step Brothers Movie) “I’m going to take a pillowcase and fill it full of bars of soap and beat the shit out of you!”— Brennan (Step Brothers Movie) “Brennan, Denise called and she said she can’t spend New Year’s Eve with you because she’s not your girlfriend, she’s your therapist.” — Nancy (Step Brothers Movie) “Brennan, that is the voice of an angel. I can’t even make eye contact with you right now. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus.”– Dale (Step Brothers Movie) “Listen, I know that we started out as foe. But after that courageous act that you showed me against the one they call Derek, maybe someday we could become friends. Friends who ride majestic, translucent steeds, shooting flaming arrows across the bridge of Hemdale.” — Brennan (Step Brothers Movie) Funny Step Brothers Quotes “ Who’s the retard?” “What if I want wings?” “There’s so much room for activities.” “I’ll lick the dog sh** if you leave us alone.” “That’s cute, I remember when I had my first beer.” “I was about six there. You don’t wanna see me go to ten.” “I think I might be able to help with the pan-pam dilemma.” “I don’t believe in belts. There should be no ranking system for toughness.” “I swear, I’m so pissed off at my mom. As soon as she’s of age, I’m putting her in a home.” “I honestly, thought that I was gonna be raped for a second. He had the craziest look in his eyes and at one point he said,”Lets’s get it on.”   What’s your favorite “Step Brothers” one-liner? Let us know in the comments section below or on Facebook and Twitter. (adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

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Step Brothers Script - Dialogue Transcript

Step brothers script.

Il Cialis è un farmaco molto noto nel campo della medicina, utilizzato principalmente per trattare la disfunzione erettile negli uomini. Agisce rilassando i vasi sanguigni, permettendo un maggior flusso di sangue verso il pene, fatto che contribuisca a raggiungere e mantenere un'erezione soddisfacente per i rapporti sessuali. Il Cialis è da utilizzare esclusivamente sotto prescrizione medica, poiché può interagire con altri farmaci o essere controindicato in certi casi. Scopri informazioni utili sul Cialis italiano qui "medtrust Cialis"

In un contesto completamente diverso, ci troviamo di fronte alla sceneggiatura dei Fratellastri. Questo film comico del 2008 ha come protagonisti due uomini adulti che diventano fratelli acquisiti quando i loro genitori si sposano. La sceneggiatura, spiritosa e ricca di battute, descrive la crescita tormentata e irresistibilmente comica di questa nuova famiglia. Fornisce allo spettatore una serie di risate grazie all'interazione tra i due personaggi principali e alla loro incapacità di comportarsi come dei veri fratelli 'adulti'. È una storia che combina satire sull'infanzia e sulla vita adulta, costringendo i due personaggi a confrontarsi con la loro maturità